So. Yesterday I was triggered and I have been triggered the last couple days about friendships, relationships, intimacy, empathy all of it. Just in a confusion. I was super triggered when a friend posted a conversation between her and another and said how she was heaven sent, a good friend etc. Literally I was so annoyed. So I end up using my go to coping mechanism which is expressing my inner emotions on my private insta story. It helps most times. And it was just a post about how I realized I struggle with intimacy at times. Then after I sent my friend a text, issue resolved with her. It was nothing of the sort, she explained I’m an amazing friend. All this. Yet I barely communicate with my friends, being that I moved states and even if we do it’s just 3D things, and mind you this was the friend that helped me at the beginning of my spiritual journey. My DM saw my story too, lol so I know it triggered him being that he has a super struggle with intimacy, i could instantly feel the energy switch. Overall I’m just confused cuz this wave of feeling hit out of nowhere. Ive Been up since about 3 am now just trying to understand what it is. Feeling out of touch, just Like wtf??? Like if I could explain it would just be wtf......... idk, will probably stay off social media today (got up and quickly deleted my post off my story even though people already saw it), paint since I’m off work, meditate, be outside... idk. im trying to figure out what this is telling me. Why would I care so much about her post? Why do I feel so out of touch?
update: already feeling better was guided to a video on YouTube, started writing in my journal, made my way to my higher purpose goals list & realized how many times I wrote down “expressing yourself is okay, releasing emotions is okay.” so yeah, inner childhood wound hit hard and I’ll spend today releasing, purging, & getting my energy back together. Lol mini breakdown.