Trying not to let the universe trigger me.

the amount of growth I’ve obtained not only since meeting my DM, but in the last month is something I’m very proud of. With this growth is bringing all of the triggers and I’m having a really hard time today. The longing is so intense, and for the first time in pretty much the entirety of our connection my DM reached out to me instead of vice versa and asked if I wanted to get together. I told him I’d be willing to get together but then he stopped talking to me. I told him that if he was contacting me to just hook up to kindly not. I still haven’t heard anything back. I‘m trying to remind myself that this is just a test and to let it go but it’s driving me insane. the pain, and longing, and heartbreak is really starting to get to me. I guess I just had to vent about it.